The Ashes

How can you get a free view of the Oval Test?

Mikey Stafford didn't have a ticket but planned to watch as much as he could for free. Find out how he got on

• Mikey Stafford outside The Oval
• guardian.co.uk, Thursday 20 August 2009 13.24 BST

Mikey Stafford knuckles down to another day's hard work. Photograph: Frank Baron

11.55am It's a little before noon and I'm on the streets of Kennington outside The Oval. It's quiet: at the Hobbs Gate turnstile touts seem to be outnumbering punters. The odd camera crew is speckled about and apart from these, the stewards and some pretty girls carrying out surveys for a wine company all is quiet on the pavilion front. Inside, I hear, Andrew Strauss and Ian Bell have brought up England's 50.

The aforementioned structure is impairing my view and I don't have a ticket. But my ambition is to find a place – for free – where I can catch a glimpse of the action. Hopefully it will still be Strauss and Bell. The mood of those assembled on the Kennington skyline may be somewhat subdued if I clap eyes on Paul Collingwood at the crease by the time I find somewhere. At least the rain has passed.

1.15pm I struggle to believe that any seats inside The Oval can compete with the view I'm enjoying from the roof of The Oval Palace. It's on top of a block of apartments just over the road from the ground, behind the Peter May stand. The owner was kind enough to let me join what can only be described as a "pan-hemispheric" roof party. That said there's not too much mingling among the opposing sets of fans, but the day is young and the chiller boxes are still full.

Everyone here is either a resident or a friend of a resident and, boy, have these residents discovered they know a lot of cricket-loving friends. Cassandra Yashpal, 28, has three work colleagues over for today before tomorrow whizzing off to the V Festival for the weekend. Music before cricket? Heresy when you enjoy a view of this quality from your very own apartment block. We can easily see 95% of the outfield; there's just a section in front of the OCS Stand which is our sole blind spot.

Enjoying Cook's early dismissal and Bell's nervous few overs was Brett Cassin, 28, from Adelaide, a resident of two-and-a-half years who is returning down under as soon as the Ashes end. As going away parties go, it could be worse. His friends Tom Walbridge, 30, and Simon Ballestrin, 26, are here to help see him off. Very good of them.

Simon was at Cardiff and Lord's but reckons the view from here is as good as any he has enjoyed in the series. Although, they are not altogether happy with the St George's Cross flags festooning the north-east side of the ground as they somewhat impair their view. Whatever the result of the cricket, Australian fans win the splitting-hairs contest. Cheek.

2.30pm Enough of those rowdy party types. I've hightailed it around to the other side of the ground and Archbishop Tenison's school, where the bursar David Mortimer was kind enough to allow me into Room 28, the religious studies room, on the second floor.

Stafford at Archbishop Tenison's School. Photograph: Frank Baron

While the view cannot compete with Oval Palace it is still the second best money can't buy and I can easily see 70% of the playing area, but the scoreboard on the Bedser Stand obscures my view of a sliver of the Pavilion End outfield and a small tree just outside offers the slightest of obstacles. The window that offers the best aspect has a sticker on one of the panels that read "Rosary Beads – used by Catholic Christians to worship God. These ones are from Westminster Cathedral".We, however, are here for Test cricket and no sooner had I opened the window and taken up a perch on a radiator than Strauss is caught behind.

Pupils were turning up today to collect their A level results – undoubtedly the most important results of their lives. To many inside the ground there is only one result that matters and they will be hoping Bell and Collingwood can achieve a couple of A*s.

3.15pm Six beers and the promise of internet fame was enough to get me into the flat of Chris Brown, on the third floor of Lohmann House, overlooking the Peter May stand. Not that I was swayed by the fact the 23-year-old offered me a can of lager when I arrived in the flat, but this is the best view of the lot.

Not a blade of grass is out of view and Chris and his mate Alex Hotz, also 23, are well set up – Test Match Special on the stereo, Sky Sports on Alex's mobile phone. This man only moved in two weeks ago – I like his style. How pleased his girlfriend, also called Alex, will be with his style when she gets home from work is another thing.

I might stay here for a while. At least until the lady of the house gets home.

3.50pm That is tea, but we're sticking with the lager – although Joe, Chris's brother, has turned up with some chocolate fingers and mini rolls to accompany a brew should anyone fancy one. We tired of TMS on Five Live, too many breaks for news and painful reality like proper news – I once again proved my worth by informing the lads of 5 Live extra and its uninterrupted coverage. Beers, broadcasting advice... anyone else want me in their gaff?

Mikey and new friends. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Guardian

Supposedly residents here get offered up to £1,000 to rent out their flats for the duration. I can see why. The sun is out, the drinks are cold and Trott is off the mark. Hopefully the evening session can bring more joy for England. That said, I'm quite happy right now, though I am a scurrilous blagger of an Irishman.

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